Keef's Solution
by MooseyDoom777
Summary: Keef takes revenge on Dib. Lots of Keef angst. One-sided ZAKR. R&R, please.


Pointless Noize: This idea just came to me while I was reading a Keef fic.He always gets his feelings hurt, so I decided it's time he had some fun. They're all fifteen in this fic, by the way. This is for all the people out there who want to seeKeef win, in his own sick, twisted way. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. Smarter people with cars do.

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Keef glared at Dib from his perch on the tree. He watched with narrowed eyes as Zim blushed at something Dib said. Even through his hatred at Dib, he still had to admit the alien was cute. Too cute for him. And if he couldn't have Zim, nobody could. It still pained Keef to admit that Zim didn't love him; that he never would. He shuddered in the thick branches of the tree in front of the Membrane household. More specifically, Dib's room. But it wasn't from the cold. 

He remembered that day in the cafeteria. Dib had told Zim how much he meant to him; how much he cared. He remembered the way Zim smiled. How he happily accepted Dib's feelings. It had broke Keef's heart. He couldn't eat for days, and his sleep was riddled with nightmares. Slowly, Keef had begun to realize something: it was all Dib's fault.

Dib with his giant head, and insane manner. It wasn't even the fact that someone had stole Zim from him. It was the fact that Zim was so happy about it. The way he followed Dib around the school, like a little puppy. It made Keef sick to think about it. Dib didn't deserve Zim, andhe was going to put a stop to it.

Keef glanced down from the tree, and watched Zim leave. Dib had asked to walk him home, but Zim just laughed and insisted he could go alone. Dib walked inside and slammed the door shut. Keef could hear Gaz yell something at him. He shuddered. He definitely did _not_ want to piss Gaz off. Especially with her temper.

There was noise coming from inside of Dib's room. Keef turned his attention from the front door to the window. Luckily, the tree branches were thick, so Dib couldn't see him.He was changing and getting ready for bed. He waited patiently for him to finish. It would be easier to "fix" the problem if Dib was asleep.

After about ten minutes of waiting, Keef saw him plop down onto the bed and almost immediately he heard slow, deep breathing. He was asleep. Cautiously, Keef jumped from the branch onto the window ledge, carefully gripping the ledge so as not to fall. He was pretty high up, after all. With steady hands he pulled the window open and dropped onto the floor, carefully shutting it again. It was a good thing Dib had forgotten to lock the window.

He tiptoed over to Dib's bedside, and slowly pulled out a blade. His mother's handy kitchen knife would be perfect for the job. He moved the blankets down to get a clear view of Dib's heart, and was about to plunge the knife down, when suddenly….

"YOU ARE WATCHING MAD TV!!!" screamed the television set from downstairs. Gaz had it turned up to a deafening level, and Keef dropped the knife onto the floor in surprise.

"Why the fuck did she do that?!" screeched Keef. Since the T.V. was so loud, no one could hear him. Except the boy lying in front of him. The combination of Keef's screams and the television had woken the poor boy up.

"Wuzzamatter…" Dib mumbled as he sat up and put his glasses on. He blinked in confusion as he saw Keef standing before him. "Keef, what are you…" He stopped talking as he saw Keef bend down and pick up the knife.

"Ah, hello, Dib. Have a nice nap?" Keef said sweetly as he stepped even closer to Dib. This was seriously freaking the black haired boy out.

Without warning, Keef plunged the knife down onto the mattress. Dib had good reflexes and dodged the blade, jumping out of bed and making a mad dash for the door. In his hurry, Dib did not see the book on the floor, and he tripped, falling face-first onto the ground. Keef thrusted the knife down into Dib's arm, and smiled demonically as he heard Dib's cries of pain. He kicked Dib in the side, flipping him over onto his back. Blood poured from Dib's arm, and Keef relished the pained look on his face. He forced the knife into Dib's knee this time, sending him into another spasm of screams. The T.V. was so loud that Keef didn't even bother to silence him; there was no way Dib could be heard.

"W-why? Why are you d-doing this?" Dib chocked out. Keef glared at him.

"Because," he answered, "you killed my only chance at happiness! You stupid motherfucker, I loved him! You ruined _my_ only chance with Zim, so now _I'll_ ruin _yours_!!!" With a final kick to Dib's already beaten body, Keef plunged the knife into his chest.

Dib shrieked in pain, chocking on blood that had backed up into his throat. Then he went silent. With a satisfied grin, Keef slipped out of the window and slid down the tree. His mother would be wondering where he went. He had a lot of explaining to do….

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That was depressing. Review, please, and scare the crap out of me when the computer says "you have mail". 


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